I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
