Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
