K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
