That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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