I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
