Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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