apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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