I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
MIDGETS
????
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Your penis caused this!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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