I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
