Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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