She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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