You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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