dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
