tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
