I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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