His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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