Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
