remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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