her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
