You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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