forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
