I hate all girls vehemently.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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