Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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