..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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