His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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