my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
