He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize