You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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