She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
