He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
