Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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