I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
