he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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