i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
