i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
