David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
