I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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