try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
