I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
