Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
