Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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