I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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