let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
