Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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