I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
