Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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