I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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