Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
