i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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