At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
