I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
