I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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