hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
