All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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