Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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