I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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