Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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