When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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