found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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