Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
