you win again, gameday.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
