Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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